


False Confidence

by DonaIDK



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: F/M, Female Driver, Male-Female Friendship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28891905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonaIDK/pseuds/DonaIDK
Summary: “ Here to spy on your future opponent? ” I asked, looking at him with my hand on my hip and even though it made me smile that he was here, I fought myself not to show it to him.“ More like here to congratulate someone, who will make my next season hell. ” He let out a laugh but his face lost the sudden happiness as I didn't return his feelings.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo & Original Female Character(s), Lando Norris/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter One

Turning the last two corners of the Yas Marina Circuit I knew they wouldn't have time to catch me, and I easily crossed the finish line. It was loud at the end with the clapping of the crewmembers at the side and the fans, making me smile even wider. I let the car slow down before turning into the pit lane so I can park down at the garage and turn off the car. I was ecstatic as I got out of the car, immediately taking off my helmet and landing in a hug from the boss. I saw my family right behind them with smiles so wide on their faces I have never seen before. As soon as I was free I went to them, almost jumping up and down as I couldn't mask my excitement. I quickly thanked everyone before having to leave for the podium and celebration but planned on talking to everyone one by one as I had a lot to thank them for in the last season alone.

It was strange to step onto the highest part of the podium while inside I knew I only got third in the whole championship. It didn't break down my spirit in any way, but it was still a little strange. We stood through the speech and anthems but with the start of the usual music, we took the champagne placed at our feet, popping them a second later and showering everyone in the drink. My eyes were stinging but I just wanted to see it all and braved getting even more champagne into them rather than just missing the sight of spectators, teams and families celebrating with us. We were all soaked in it, my hair sticking together even as it was in a braid, so it won't be in the way.

An hour later I was finally finished with interviews and team talks, deciding to go to the driver room to finally change out my wet clothes. The racing suit was already off my upper body, but the fireproofs were just as alcohol smelling as the upper layer. I passed some of the guys on my way back to the paddocks and even saw some F1 drivers give answers to questions about the upcoming season and team changes. Although we had many chances to meet them during races, award shows and just racing events, most of them stayed huge celebrities in our eyes, right until you got to be their teammate for a season and you got used to being on their level. I did see Daniel too, sitting down with a reporter to do his pre-race interview quickly raising my hand to greet him silently and grinned inside when he did the same. I was over the moon with how everything ended and how it all will start next year with the contract I got from Renault.

“ He's inside, waiting for you. ” I heard my mum as soon as I stepped inside the garage and was about to turn the corner to get to the room. “ Talk to him. Give him a chance. ” She added when I was about to backtrack and just leave my idea of changing behind. I would rather travel home smelling like alcohol, champagne to be exact than stand in front of him and talk about anything.

“ Why? What if I don't want to? ” I asked back, with my arms crossed in front of my chest. I just hoped he wasn't hearing anything of this, even though I didn't really care what he thought about me. Still, the look she gave me, made me follow my first plan of just entering the room, so I can finally put down my things.

I stopped in front of the white door for a second, taking a big breath and letting it out before I pushed down the handle and got the door open as I stepped inside. He was sitting on the couch in his orange jacket, with a cap on his head, clearly showing everyone he's part of the McLaren team. Probably his face alone would be enough for a majority of people to get that info, but if you because of some strange happening didn't know him, all the ads and texts on their clothing gave all the info you needed. He was on his phone, of course, but closed it and looked up at me after he realised I was the one stepping inside the little room. I put my watch on the shelves next to him alongside the towels and several fireproofs we had if there were any accidents and we needed more than one piece. The silence made my skin crawl as I knew he was watching my every move with eyes like a hawk but didn't say a word to me actually. Just seconds later I got fed up with the situation and broke the silence around us with a sigh.

“ Here to spy on your future opponent? ” I asked, looking at him with my hand on my hip and even though it made me smile that he was here, I fought myself not to show it to him.

“ More like here to congratulate someone, who will make my next season hell. ” He let out a laugh but his face lost the sudden happiness as I didn't return his feelings.

“ I hope so. ” I had to agree, even though I knew he was joking only. “ It would be embarrassing to finally get in and crash out almost immediately. ” I added with a sigh, still hoping it was just my anxiety towards next season's challenges talking and not something that will become reality.

“ You got a seat yesterday. Even before winning today and taking P3 in the championship. You'll do just fine. ” He shrugged, sliding to the side of the bed so I could sit down next to him comfortably. I got my legs on the bed, crossing them, so I could turn fully towards him. I was angry at him, but being rude wouldn't achieve anything in this situation. “ I'm sorry about ghosting you. It all just got too much and I closed everyone off, including you. ” He exhaled, picking at his own fingers which I knew quite well as a sign of worry for him.

“ Yeah, I know. Your mum was reaching out to me if I knew what happened while I haven't even talked to you for two or even three months previous to her message. ” My eyes stayed on him even though the situation wasn't comfortable for any of us, and I usually hated eye contact during these moments. With him, it was usually the other way around, that I needed to see his eyes to know how he's feeling. When you get to a certain level of friendship with someone, where you know what they're thinking by looking at their eyes, you usually like to use that in the middle of arguments or agonizing dialogues.

“ She was furious with me when I went home. I did almost change my mind who's the Welsh Dragon from the two of you. ' He finally let a smile get on his face and it was the first time since we last talked that I did smile because of him. ” Still wasn't enough to make me text or call you. ' His hand went up to scratch at the nape of his neck, my eyes following the movement, making me realise how long his hair had gotten since the last time he stood in front of me.

“ I was looking forward to getting a sign of life from you for a week or so, but then gave up. ” I nodded, looking down a little bit as I remembered how alone I felt when not even his mum could get him back to his previous self. He always looked happy for the outside world, but as I saw him at venues and shows I saw the moments he was standing alone with just the emptiest look in his eyes as he scanned the crowd. “ But I understand. I know it was probably hard, I will go through the same next season. ” A silent sigh left my body as I thought about how hard next year will probably be.

“ Yeah, sorry and also thank you for not fully giving up on me. ” He finally looked up at me with a little smile. “ I saw all the messages, just was a dickhead and didn't reply to any of them. ” He shook his head and although looked disappointed in himself he finally had a normal glint in his eyes.

“ Are you talking to everyone else too now? ” I asked curiously, my body loosening up a little as the tension lowered between us. It was a small little cubicle, you could feel everything ten times better if you were closed in.

“ Not really. I planned on slowly saying sorry to everyone. After yesterday's announcements, I thought today would be the perfect time to start it with you. I hoped you wouldn't just come in, tell me off and leave without me explaining myself. ” His laugh made me myself, even though I knew it would be hard work from his side to get our friendship where it once was. He was still the same guy from years back, but when someone just leaves you hanging you do lose a bit of faith and trust towards them. Even if you have been inseparable for the past like 16 years.

I wanted to add a thought to our conversation when we heard a bunch of footsteps coming towards the room. I knew it was probably my crew coming to celebrate a little before we have to start packing up to leave before F1 really gets going and we won't have the place to do it. We just stood up from the bed when some of the mechanic guys came inside without a knock or anything and just took me out of the small room like that while I was almost dying from laughing. I saw Lando shimmie outside, trying not to get caught up in the team dance that I was in the middle of.

When we finally got home I still had some paperwork to attend to and then the fun part started. I say the fun part even though my stress level was higher than some New York skyscrapers if I'm being honest. I understood even more what Lando meant by it was all just too much and I did start to look up at him that he went with it for months before it took the best of him and he shut down a little. My Renault move being quite short notice didn't help either as I had to start searching for a house or apartment close to the HQ in the middle of December and Christmas which was never easy. Luckily we did find a compact little flat that ticked all of our boxes and wasn't even too pricey.

I moved in smaller chunks as I had so many things to take with me but not enough hands. Lando did help out on quite some days, letting us meet up a little and catch up, but as my family was working full time I had to manage most of the moving alone. It was already the middle of February when I felt like it was all finished, which was a huge relief as I had to leave for testing and then do all the necessary photoshoots and paperwork. The first days were probably the worst when I really didn't know anyone other than the boss and Daniel. Even though they both tried to make me comfortable, the best moments were when I finally got to drive the cars and just focus on my job. I started to dread that it will be like this for the whole season, just me feeling really out of place not having anyone I could go to. But then it all finally clicked into place and I started to understand the whole process. It got even better when we finally had some time to get to know each other.

It was the first week of March when we finally had some free time to go out with mine and Daniel's crew for a little team building. We chose a park close to the HQ as we didn't want to go somewhere really crowded and closed in, and just made a little picnic with beer and sandwiches. It was really just a thought one second and a real plan the next. I finally got to know every little piece of our team and finally really connected the names to faces and voices, which I couldn't really do in the rush we were in during weekdays for the last couple of weeks. It was funny when I realised some of them were more in my age group than I actually thought and I hoped they felt as good about me as I did about them. There really was no one who made me think, maybe I don't want to spend so much time with them. Dani was a huge part in making me feel at home too as he acted around me as I have always been there, working next to them. He did give me enough courage to really be myself and not just act as how they wanted to see me. Maybe I didn't become everyone's favourite person, but that wasn't the goal anyway. I can try to be that but will just lose even more friends when they realise I'm not who they thought I was.

Another big part of getting used to it all was the media and all the new fans I gained by becoming an F1 driver. Interviews were already a part of our routine in F2 but the questions got a lot more precise and sometimes you really had to think about your answer. Also, a huge change was that they did actually recognise you in the street even before I had my debut race, meaning you couldn't really just get out of the house how you wanted. At least I felt like I had to plan for at minimum one person asking for a photo or something signed by me. It was fun at times but could become quite tiring if it happened more than once in a row. In a way, you lost a part of your freedom to your fans and people just in general. I still felt lucky that not everyone cared about me and I could still just have fun with old friends or family. I still felt a little relieved when we travelled to Australia for the Grand Prix, because we all were together even if we were from different teams and spent quite some time with our own bubble only.

But it all shattered before it could actually really start. I just got into the feeling of being a real part of a Formula 1 race when some people tested positive and they cancelled the weekend all together in one go. I understood that they had to take action but it still felt like they have taken away our opportunity in a strange way, making us go home in full doubt, not knowing when the season will actually start. We knew this won't be the only cancelled or postponed race and the obscurity just made it that little bit more agonizing. But the only thing we could do was wait and hope there won't be many cases so we can get back to the schedule as soon as possible.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With almost all chapters done it’s time to start sharing finally. I have been waiting for this day since the middle of December when it was just a vague idea in my head. Chapter I is already out as a little teaser, but this is mostly where Lando’s and Winola’s story starts 😌 I really hope you guys will like it, and that maybe I can even make a season 2 from this as this pair got pretty close to my heart while writing. Every kind of feedback is really appreciated (even if I don’t react immediately) 🧡  
> (My stupid ass somehow thought using ‘ instead of “ was fun for dialogues... I tried changing all of it to normal, but if I left some as ‘ I’m sorry 🤦🏻♀️)  
> Thank you for reading and have a great start to your week 🥰

Having to travel back home from Australia without any races was quite disappointing, even more for us who would have made our debuts in this Grand Prix. Even though we knew this had to be done, there were cases even inside the teams and health had to come first always. It still didn't feel right to fly home without anything happening actually and having to completely stop everything that was going on at the HQ or at tests. We couldn't even have our usual training in there, had to get everything together at home or find other solutions. As we knew it would be a long break we made plans to stay in the usual schedule even though we had to do everything at Mark's place, as mine was just too small for any kind of workout. Also, I didn't really want to anger my neighbours in the first year of me living there.

It was after one of the workouts that I got home to the worst smell I have ever experienced. It was all around the block and as soon as I went up to my floor and stepped out of the elevator into the hallway that had water up to ankle height I knew exactly where it was coming from. I didn't even have time to freak out as it was getting worse and worse and I rushed to get my still dry things into safety, which was mostly my car and Mark's garage as he was the first one I remembered to call. Luckily nothing important got soaked from my belongings as it was mostly only the furniture that I wanted to change anyway. I was just waiting for a little break and I had time to look around for stuff that matched my style. But still, not having a place to stay at 3 o'clock in the afternoon was quite worrisome. As my family lived in Wales and the only ones I knew here were the team members who we should have been quarantining from.

It would have been a lot easier if I could have just gone home to my family, but with my grandparents living in the same house I couldn't just drive there without knowing what I could take there with me. It just wasn't an option to choose from. In my last hope, I called Lando as I knew he had a guest bedroom and was in England, and as he was the only one I could think about at that moment. I would have called Daniel but he stayed in Australia and couldn't get home after it locked down its airports. Just as the first ring went through I started thinking and then immediately put down the call, hoping it won't show up at his end. In the end, Mark could give me a place to sleep for a night as his girlfriend stayed with her family for the weekend and so I didn't barge in on their privacy. I was just glad to have a place to stay that wasn't a hotel full of strangers and knew I had a full day to get something sorted for the remainder of the time while they're fixing our flats and the flooding.

Right after I woke up and opened up my phone it showed me a missed call from Lando, which for some odd reason made my stomach do a flip. I felt strange asking him for favours after he left me stranded for a year and I told them I need time to get back to our previous stage of friendship. Still, my finger moved on its own while I was getting off the couch and I was already calling him back while starting the coffee maker. It took like four rings before he picked it up and I heard his voice on the other side of the line. His quite sleepy voice. I almost facepalmed at realising how early it actually was. Even though it was the normal wake up time for me. At least since I started working with Renault.

“ Sorry, didn't realise it was this early. I forget I'm the only one who wakes up this early. ” I let out a sigh, watching the outside from the window in the kitchen. He was known for sleeping in when he didn't need to wake up to an alarm in the early hours of the morning.

“ It's okay. Somehow I was already up just still in bed. ” I could just see him shrug his shoulders after the sentence, still with his eyes closed. “ Why did you call me yesterday? I left my phone at home and only saw it later, but you didn't pick up when I tried to call back. ” He asked, already sounding a little more alive.

“ I just tapped on your name accidentally. Wanted to send a message so you wouldn't worry but I forgot. Sorry. ” I lied, hoping he won't hear it in my voice. Maybe I got lucky with him being still half-asleep and not realising it.

“ Oh, okay. I really hoped I didn't miss it while you were in pain or anything else. ” He sighed, making me smile a little that he really cared about me in this way. Even though he would have been too far away to actually help me.

“ Morning! ” I heard from behind me, and as I turned around I could see Mark coming down the stairs. I mouthed a good morning silently with a smile on my face.

“ Where are you? ” I heard Lando from my phone and froze in my place, with my eyes going wide. “ Are you with someone? ” He asked curiously and while his voice sounded joking I couldn't really laugh at it all.

“ Mark. He let me crash at his place because my flat is flooded. ” I answered with a sigh, knowing I can't keep up the lies now or it would create a situation I don't want to hear back every day. I waited for Mark to step outside before continuing. “ That's why I called. I didn't really have anywhere to go. Everyone has small little flats and I really don't know anyone well enough to just stay with them in a one room apartment. I could stay at Mark's for a night but his girlfriend is back today and I don't really want to invade their privacy this much. ” I told him everything and waited for his reaction while pouring out the coffee into a mug. It took him a second or two to fully get what I was talking about.

“ Why wouldn't you ask me? I mean you put it down after like one ring?! ” He asked back as I heard rustling from his side. I didn't really wanna go into why I feel strange about the thought of moving in with him. “ Anyways, we have a fully unused room with a huge bed and wardrobe that's waiting for you. Do you need a car to get your things? ” He didn't even let me say no and just decided that I'm moving in with them.

“ No, I have my car. I just have to sort out what I'll actually need while I can't get back into my flat. ” I shook my head, absentmindedly taking a sip from my cup, almost burning down my whole mouth with it. “ I just don't want to be in anyone's way. ” I added with a sigh.

“ You won't be. We're home anyway as we can't go in. Even if we had to, this house would be big enough for maybe even four people. We don't even have to see each other if we don't want to. ” He shut me down immediately and also made me laugh for the first time in the last couple of days. “ If you don't need to be close to the headquarters then we're happy to have you here with us. ” He added with a smile recognizable from his voice.

“ Thank you. I'll just get my things together and get in my car finally. I think it'll take at max two hours to drive there. ” I looked at the clock on the wall and went to get the couch tidied up so I won't leave a big mess behind as my thank you to Mark.

“ Just give me a call if you're close so I can help you with the small streets. It's a little tricky to get here. ” He chuckled and with a smile and another thank you, we put down the call so I can finally get going.

I quickly made my temporary bed how I got it yesterday and after shuffling around the things in my car and the garage I was finally ready to start the drive. Mark let me leave things that weren't important in his place, making it a lot easier to get everything inside, without blocking my view or movements. My poor Renault looked like a packhorse, but it was still working and that's what mattered most. I needed something to get there at least.

I was already around Oxford when I realised I should probably eat something, so I stopped for a little breakfast break at one of the petrol stations, getting myself a sandwich. I took a minute to let my family know I won't be home if in any case, they would think about travelling to Enstone to visit me. It wasn't likely to happen but I just wanted to make sure they know where I am staying. As I threw out the paper bag my food was in, a little girl came up to me with her dad, asking if I was Winola Williams. The whole situation was quite adorable and I gladly crouched down next to her so her parents could take a picture of the both of us. They even wished me luck for when the season will finally start which made me smile as I got back on the road and followed the GPS's instructions.

An hour later I arrived in Woking finally and actually drove past McLaren. I called Lando so he would have them to get outside and let me in through the gate. Relief washed over me when I could finally turn off the engine and open my seatbelt. I already felt tired when I woke up so it became a fact that a nap will be needed before I can actually function as a human being. Taking my phone off the holder I closed the app that took me here and shut off the screen before getting out of my seat and closing the door behind me.

“ Welcome to our Castle! ” Lando stood next to me as the gate finally closed and he could slide the remote into his pocket. “ Was the drive okay? They said there was quite some traffic around London. ” He sighed after welcoming me with a quick hug.

“ Between London and Woking it was quite slow, but otherwise, there was no crowd whatsoever. ” I shook my head, stepping to the trunk to get it opened. I took my backpack and two suitcases out that contained most of my important belongings.

“ Let me help. ” He took the two suitcases and went first while I stepped back to the passenger side to get my laptop bag out before following him inside. I didn't know if they had any shoe rules so I went safe with kicking them down and getting them out of the way with my feet.

By the time I looked up he was already at the top of the stairs, making me get up there swiftly, following him through the hallway into the room that looked empty. It'll be until I open my suitcases and everything that's shoved in there will jump out like a bomb explosion. The only thing I don't know is how I will get everything back into it when it's gonna be time to move back.

“ This feels like a big sleepover. Just more mature in a way. ” I joked, sitting down on the floor, next to the bed while he went to open one of the windows as the air felt a little dusty.

“ Something mature in my household? Are we seeing the same things? ” He turned back while his shoulders shook from his laughter. “ Can I somehow help with unpacking? Or will I just mess up your perfectly coordinated plan of how your clothes have to be packed out? ” He asked with a teasing glint in his eyes. He was already halfway out the door when I threw one of my baseball caps in his way, but it sadly only hit the door that he pulled close behind himself.

It took me almost two hours to really get settled in, connecting my laptop and phone to the wifi and taking my clothes out of their confinement to sort them out into the wardrobe. I was usually someone who rather lived from her suitcases than packed out even for a day. However, knowing it won't be just two or three days of me staying here, I forced myself to make it homier and get everything out. I just sent one last email out about the situation to the company when the smell coming from the kitchen hit my nose. Closing down the screen of it just seconds later I was already downstairs, spying on the food Lando was making.

Even if it was just a ready-made meal it smelled delicious and my tummy was rumbling as I watched him heat it up in a pan and then serve it onto two plates. We had lunch outside, in the garden, which was almost full of gym equipment but still somehow looked cozy and tidy. Minutes later his housemate joined us, ‘wanting to get to know the person who could tolerate Lando for years’ just to quote his words. He seemed like a great guy and I actually had no problem talking to him about our mutual past, even though I didn't really like to open up to strangers in the first moments after we met. It probably helped me that he knew Lando well and the other way around, which showed me he can't be such a bad person, or Lando wouldn't be friends with him. I got to know that he was the one who encouraged Lando to start streaming while the season would be off even though he didn't cave in yet and said no one would actually watch him anyway. Somehow I just couldn't believe that his fans wouldn't want to support everything he decides to do.

“ Do you wanna bet? ” I asked him as I raised my glass to my lips. He answered with a lifted eyebrow, waiting for me to express my idea for him. ' If you start a channel or streaming and there will be less than five thousand people, you can post anything on my Insta story that you want. However, if there's gonna be more, I get to challenge you to a cook-off that we're gonna film and you'll have to put it up on your new channel! ' I told them my rules, with a cocky smile playing on my face. I saw him thinking, all the gears turning behind his curls at a furious pace.

“ I'm in! ” He extended his arm towards me for a handshake which I gladly gave to him knowing this will be an easy win for me. He always underestimated how much his fans were all over the moon for content about him.


	3. Chapter Three

Somehow even after over two weeks of living with Lando and Robert I couldn’t get rid of me always waking up early. Everyday started with my usual training and a shower before cooking breakfast when the boys would finally wake up. Having roommates wasn’t a new experience for me but it was still strange with them.They didn’t make it strange, it was completely my fault to overthink it all, that I went over the line, that I put up between ourselves, by asking this huge favour from him and not someone else. But I tried to put that into the back of my mind, and not let it surface until Lando would tell me I’m too much. Even though I knew that would probably never happen. Not even if he did think about it. He was just too sweet to do anything like that to anyone.

„ Are we doing the Q&A today? ” Lando asked as he was making his tea, and I was standing next to him, waiting for my coffee to finish. 

„ We can. Although, you should get questions from the fans so we don’t have to wait when we sit down to film it. ” I yawned, finally getting my cup so I could add some milk and sweetener to it. „ Also, don’t forget the cook-off. You owe me that one! ” I warned him as I took my first sip and it immediately made me feel more alive. I wasn’t addicted to caffeine I swear, I just loved the taste of coffee. It didn’t really matter if it was caffeine-free or normal.

„ I know, even though I would like you to forget it. ” He sighed, taking his cup outside with himself, while I sat down on the sofa, to go through my DMs a little. I liked trying to answer all of them. Usually I didn’t have enough time, but with this break, I did whatever I wanted after completing the tasks I gave myself so I would still stay fit.

„ Never happening. ” I added, shouting so he would hear it even while sitting outside while I was already swiping down on my phone so I could get to the bottom of my Instagram messages. They could be harsh but luckily most of them were kind messages that made me smile and wanna do it more frequently. There were some of them about Lando that I usually felt strange about, but also they did make me laugh 90% of the time.

I got through like half of it when I started feeling my eyes and decided to end it for today. I quickly put up a photo into my story, thanking them for their messages and promising I will get to the remaining ones later today or tomorrow. I think I have dealt well with all the attention from my new fans, giving them enough footage into my life but still staying as private as I always did. I didn’t want to change just because I got more reputation, than before I got into F1. Even though we were already quite well known in F2. It’s not the same type of fame.

„ Should we start in like 10 minutes? ” Lando came back from the garden, closing the glass door after himself. „ We would still have enough time to cook something after. ” He offered, although I knew he wasn’t thinking about the cook-off. That will be a whole another stream.

„ We can. I’m just gonna do my hair and then join you. ” I nodded, taking the towel off my head, that was on me since my shower. I hated drying my hair, so usually when the weather wasn’t cruel I let it dry on it’s own.

I went upstairs, into the room I was using and got out my curling iron. I was usually never using anything on my hair during the season. I never had enough time, but also it was pointless, as the helmet would mess the strands up anyways. It was always in the middle stage, between straight and curly. On better days it looked wavy but mostly just made my life harder to make it look decent rather than messy and unkempt. It didn’t look dirty or anything, but still wasn’t the sight I wanted everyone to know me by. Even if I hated how frequently I had to wash it, to get it into the style I wanted it to be in. Right now I didn’t spend so much time on it, softly curling bigger batches of it, just to make the strands stay in a shape similar to each other, before getting half of it up into a high ponytail. I was just putting everything back into my closet when I heard him start his stream and welcome chat in a happy tone. With a shake of my head I closed the closet door and went into his game room, stopping in the doorway.

„ Do you even need me? ” I asked him jokingly but when he responded with the rolling of his eyes I stepped inside and got the second chair, so I could sit down next to him. Chat was already changeing at max speed, making my head spin as soon as I tried following the messages. „ How the hell do you keep up with them? ” I asked, watching his screen but soon giving up.

„ We’ll put them in slow mode if it’s gonna be confusing. ” He shrugged, clicking around and finally making it slower, so we could actually read the comments. „ So guys, as I said, we are here to answer your questions. We already have some that you went in on my Instagram, but you can also ask us here and now. ” He clapped his hands together, making me jump for a second at the unexpected sound. „ I would say don’t hold back, knowing you guys… Please act decently. ” He sighed, making me laugh as I pulled my legs and crossed them over each other.

„ I think we can start the ones that were sent in, until they know what they wanna ask. ” i offered, looking at Lando for a second and then at his phone while he opened up the notes app, where he saved all of them. There weren’t many, but we knew chat would ask a lot more anyway.

„ So, for starters… How did you guys meet? How long have you known each other? ” He read, making me smile for a second, before counting.

„ Well, my family moved to Somerset in 2003 and we met a year later. So 16 years in the making. ” I answered for the second one, leaving the first for Lando.

„ And it was during karting. I think I saw your brother there before, but that’s when he really got into it. If I’m right you followed him a year later. ” He added, nodding as he looked at me for approval. I was always better with dates and remembering events, although my memory wasn’t the best in any other aspect. As I looked at chat I caught a question that could be in connection with the previous one.

„ We do actually fight. I don’t believe people when they swear that they never fight with their friends. ” I shrugged my shoulders. „ We didn’t talk actually, for almost a whole year because he was an idiot. ” I added, just to make him roll his eyes and look somewhere else.

„ Yeah, we can leave it at that. ” He sighed, looking for the next question. „ What other sports did you do next to karting and racing? ” He looked at me, so I can give my answer first.

„ I have been dancing on and off since I was four. I just don’t really have time to do it now. ” I let out a sigh, missing the feeling of dancing a little at the memory. „ You were playing football, weren’t you? ” I asked Lando with furrowed eyebrows.

„ Yeah a little, but I wasn't doing any good. ” He shook his head, already looking down at his phone. While he was through the notes he made I looked at chat again, so we won’t miss anything important.

„ Well, that’ll be something we can answer only after the season. I don’t wanna jinx anything. ” I let out a little laugh when one of them asked who will perform better from the two of us. When Lando looked up to read the question, it was already gone and I just shook my head, as I knew he would for sure tease me with how he for sure will be better than me.

„ Then, what is the other’s most annoying habit? ” He asked with a raised eyebrow, still looking at the screen. „ For you, it’s actually hard. You haven’t lived here for that long and I think you make sure we won’t have any problem with you. ” He laughed, looking up at me. „ but maybe all the bets you make me participate in. ” He sighed and I almost felt pity for him but then quickly came to my senses.

„ You decide to take part in them. I never force you! ” I corrected him immediately. „ But i guess Daniel isn’t that good of a mentor for me. ” I chuckled and at the exact second caught a question on the big screen about him. „ He’s great. I don’t think that I would feel this comfortable in the team if it wasn’t for him. The first thing he did when we met in January was introducing me to everyone and showing me around, so I won’t get lost in the building. So he really did everything he could, just to make me feel comfortable in such a big place. „ I added, with a smile on my face, laughing as soon as the chat was flooded with sappy emojis and ’Aww’s.

As I was reading their messages in between answering questions I saw quite a big amount of followers mentioning it’s strange that I’m living with Lando and I have been in several of his streams. They made me think and maybe even overthink the situation a little. I always knew spectators would think I have connections that made it possible for me to compete in F1, but I hoped it wouldn't become reality. I thought I would be luckier, and could make them like me enough that they would look at my driving how they look at anyone else’s. What made it harder was the fact that we were yet to start a race and show what we can get out of our cars. In this situation it was hard to win fans’ hearts only with your skills and professionalism as you didn’t get a chance to show them all what you’re capable of.

„ Oh yeah, why are you actually here? ” Lando asked jokingly, but somehow I couldn’t really take the situation as something funny anymore.

„ Well, my flat flooded like a week after we stopped working and I couldn’t go home so I was in a pickle and Lando helped me out. ” I answered flatly with a forced smile, although he probably anticipated a funnier answer and me poking at him for how he worded the question. „ They’re still fixing it, but finally getting to the end. So I’ll probably move back to Enstone as soon as it’s clean again. ” I added, trying to calm down the fans who sounded angry in the comments in my opinion as I read them. Hoped it will make them realise this wasn’t something that will be a norm for the future.

„ At least when you dared to ask me for help finally. ” He rolled his eyes, trying to lighten my mood and I forced a smile on my face, but couldn’t really turn back to my previous mood. It didn’t feel right to be here anymore somehow. „ Well, I think that will be us for today. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and thank you for asking us so many questions. ” He turned towards the camera, and I was relieved that we’re finishing up.

I said my goodbyes alongside him and watched as he turned off the stream, turning towards me with his chair. I didn’t exactly feel like moving yet and stayed in my seat, watching as the last messages arrived in the chat. When he pushed my leg a little with his, making me turn towards him getting a smile on my face.

„ We should get cooking if we want to eat on time. ” I told him, getting up and I was glad he didn’t hold me back and let me leave the location that was causing me so much discomfort right now.

The next time I let myself go onto social media was after dinner, but I did regret it in a swift second. Lando’s fans were all over my comment sections either saying our friendship is cute, or that I was so all over Lando that they couldn’t decide if it was awkward or disgusting, which did hurt a little. I never wanted to seem like a friend who just wanted to use and then drop him. Luckily I didn’t need anything he had but even if he could give me something I wouldn’t want to just get it from him, would rather work for it and achieve it.

The next week was awkward as I tried to stay out of the frame even when there weren’t any cameras around. I thought it would be easier to stay away from him online if I just cut myself off of him entirely. I was fortunate that after that week I got the call that I can finally go home and I was maybe a little too happy to leave their place, considering they did everything that my time in their house was spent joyfully. It wasn’t bad, but the end was quite confusing thanks to the fans. I hoped it would get better as they saw that I was home, but everything stayed the same, making me step back from social media. At least until they finally announced the restart of the season.

We had enough time to get ready and fit for the ride, spending as much time at work as we could. It helped me to forget everything that happened and was still happening at the time on my pages. I didn’t really have the energy to go online and look at the reactions, making me a lot happier than how I felt before work started again. Daniel was also next to me as he somehow could sense that I needed someone’s encouragement even more now and he didn’t fail to make me feel better. One of our conversations, about how this restart will be huge, made me visit my usual hairstylist and nail tech right before we left for Austria. I took a later plane there, arriving in the evening which meant they were already settled down at the hotel when I finally arrived.

„ You did actually do something big. ” I was standing at the reception when I heard Daniel’s voice behind myself and I turned to him as soon as I got my key. „ This looks amazing! ” He grinned at me, or more like my hair actually turning me back in my previous position so he can look at it better.


	4. Chapter Four

„ I swear you’re insane! ” Daniel added, letting me finally turn towards him so I can quickly hug him. „ They will love it. ” He made me smile behind my mask as he led me to the elevator.

„ We said that the restart will be a huge thing. Even bigger for me. Why wouldn’t I celebrate it somehow? ” I asked back, shrugging as we stepped inside. I thought I wouldn’t have the courage in me to do something so highlighting. However, in the end I thought this is how I can show everyone that I really don’t care about their judging comments. „ I wanted to colour it anyways. ” I told him but had to laugh as he was still staring at the end of my hair. It was in a huge contrast with the top of it as it was a radiant yellow color compared to my normal dark brown.

„ Did anyone else already see it? ” He asked excitedly, finally looking at me but his grin couldn’t fade. „ Or am I the first one? ” He couldn’t even wait for my answer.

„ You’re the first from here. Some fans probably spotted me as I was getting on the plane. ” I let out another laugh at his face.

„ We’re taking a photo after dinner! I want to be the first one to post this. ” He shook his head with another laugh, and I actually thought he’s proud of what I did. I didn’t really understand why, but it was funny to see his reaction.

„ I don’t get to post my own hair first? ” I asked him to act peeved at his rules, even though I didn’t actually care whose profile it was posted on first. It was such a small thing.

„ You don’t, I’m taking full credit. ” He shook his head, letting me get out first on our floor. „ It sucks to be you. ” He sighed, making me almost punch him. He was lucky because I was already opening my door with both of my hands full of my stuff, and didn’t want to drop anything to be able to hit him.

I didn’t even close my door fully, just stepped deeper into the room so I could change my top to a team shirt. As soon as that was ready I put down my glasses on the nightstand and with my phone and keycard in my hand quickly ran after Daniel, who was waiting for me at the elevator. I did actually feel energetic, even though I always hated flying and never dealt well with jet-lag. Luckily this time Austria and Enstone weren't that different time wise, making it easier to get used to being here. Getting through the hall was quite challenging as almost everyone stopped us for a photo but eventually we got to the canteen, immediately spotting our team at one of the tables.

We got a tray full of food each and joined all the other guys, taking all the compliments they gave in connection with my hair. I just about raised my fork to my mouth when Daniel started laughing and almost broke my arm as he yanked my hand towards him. „ I can’t believe you. Even the nails? ” He asked in between laughs, making everyone look at us a little, probably thinking how crazy we are. I saw the camera guy recording for the behind-the-race video they planned for this season and I knew this will bring comments under the video when they’re gonna be finally out.

„ I did everything so we could have luck on our side. ” I shrugged a little and let him examine my yellow and black nails with sunflowers painted onto the black ones. „ Although your obsession is making me feel strange. ” I told him with a nervous smile, but then just the both of us ended up laughing as I finally got back to eating.

I was the first to finish eating but as I knew Daniel wanted a photo I stayed in my seat, fishing my phone out of my pocket so I can look online meanwhile. They were the world’s lowest eaters, joking throughout the whole evening and also eating like three times what I needed to feel satisfied. When they were finally ready we took the photo in the hallway, which ended up to be several photos that captured as firstly we were simply standing next to each other and then he pulled a strand of my hair and put it as a mustache for himself. It looked even funnier as he put it in front of his mask, not actually his face. While we went back to his room he selected three photos, the one we were standing in, one where he already had a yellow mustache and one where I realised what he was doing and my face rested in my palms as I let out a laugh. He also added a short little description before he posted it and finally sent all the photos to me too. I was already looking through them when we said goodbye and entered our own rooms.

I debated sharing any of them but then gave in and shared the last one in my story with a yellow and black heart over the head of Daniel as mine was lower, thanks to my laughing and leaning forward. Although I was already a lot smaller than him and actually everyone else from the drivers. At least I didn’t have problems getting into and out of the car. Lying down on the bed I called home to talk with everyone for a little time, letting them know I arrived safely and everything was completely fine. It took a little longer to finally put down the phone but I was happy I could talk to them all after not even seeing them in person since the year started. We usually facetimed or talked on the phone, but it was never the same than before. Still, I tried to keep as connected to them as I just could.

I just put down my toothbrush, after showering and washing my hair, when my phone was ringing again. With a sigh I stepped back to my bed and lifted my phone. As soon as I saw Lando’s name on the screen I got happier and accepted the facetime request, but left my phone on the bed.

„ Hello. I just saw you arrived. ” He started, although I saw he was confused for a second why he could only see my ceiling. „ Also, your hair looks great, although I’m sorry but had to laugh at it a little. ” He added, making me laugh.

„ Yeah, I just finished with my shower. ” I quickly got the towel off of my head and changed my robe for real clothes, so I could take my phone into my hand. „ Did you laugh because of the color or because of Daniel? ” I asked him, leaning back to the headboard.

„ Because it was unexpected, but Dan didn’t help either. ” He laughed with me, sitting up straighter before I could scold him for sitting with his back like a question mark. „ But it looks great. Everyone will be talking about it. Even if someone already did this for a season start, no one ever had nails that matched their team colors. ” He added with a chuckle, making me shake my head as I looked down at my hand. They weren’t long as that would be in the way all the time, but I still loved my own idea.

„ I thought maybe it’ll be too much, but I do actually love it now. I loved Daniel’s reaction too. He didn’t believe me when I told him I did something big for the start. ” I remembered back to our last encounter before we flew here separately. „ Then I just didn’t give a damn and did what I wanted. ” I shrugged, taking the water bottle from my nightstand and opened it carefully, so I wouldn’t just pour it all over myself.

As we had to wake up early the next day we didn’t talk for long, and rather went to sleep right after we put down the call. It was still hard to get out of the bed in the morning, making me crave a coffee more than anything else in that moment. I gave myself time to get ready, even though I didn’t plan on doing much. I changed into a team shirt and simple black jeans and put my hair up into a ponytail as it was, because I knew it wasn’t worth straightening or curling. It would just get messed up in the heat when we start practice. I was just closing my door when Mark stepped out of his room, so we could go down to have breakfast together, even though it wasn’t planned. The restaurant part was pretty empty, the few people lingering in there were all Renault workers, who had meetings early. All the others were probably still sleeping as we had quite some time until we had to meet up at the garage.

I grabbed a plate full of cereal, fruit and yoghurt before finding a table, so we can sit down finally. Mark only put down his plates and went to get a coffee, coming back with two of them as he surprised me with one two. I completely forgot to get myself one, and he saved my day with this cup. We didn’t rush ourselves, leaving only half an hour later, after we put our plates away. We went back to get our backpacks before meeting up in the carpark so we could get to the circuit. Just minutes later the car was ready, and as we were putting our stuff into the truck even Daniel and Michael arrived.

„ Is sharing a car okay with you guys? ” Dan asked, coming up to us. It looked quite big enough for all of us, making me decide on going together. At least this way reception didn’t have to call one more car while we comfortably fit into one. It was really fun to be squeezed between Dan and Mark in the back seat as they were all like twice my size, almost completely making me invisible between them.

„ I’m already out of energy. ” I sighed, stretching to the sides as we got out and we could finally breathe fresh air again. „ Are the pre-practice interviews now or later? ” I asked, taking my backpack from the trunk. Closing it we thanked the driver quickly and turned towards the entrance that luckily had little panels, telling us where everything was if we didn’t remember.

„ A little later. We have time to put our bags down and check in on the team. ” Dan informed me, as we walked in front of our trainers who were having a probably really interesting conversation about something. „ You know, I’m pretty sure I would be the first at the garage if we did a race. ” He looked at me, smirking and making me look at him hurt.

„ You wouldn’t be. ” I rejected his offer, making me roll my eyes. What I didn’t think is that he takes it seriously and takes off running in the next second. I was quick to react and start running, but was always behind him and he did win in the end, stepping inside the building with the Renault logo on top of the door, making me push him even more inside angrily.

„ You cheater… It isn’t a real race if you start early. ” I shook my head at him, leaving him as I took the turn to the garage and had to grin at the sight of the two cars in there. „ Please everyone promise me this won’t get cancelled out of nowhere. ” I sighed, greeting everyone with a fistbump or a really quick hug in the girls' cases. Even though I felt drained a couple of minutes ago, I was starting to feel that little buzz I did back in March when we arrived. I just really didn’t want to go home again without any action.

„ We can only hope so. But I love the team-spirit. ” Cyril grinned at me, when I finally got to him, pushing my sunglasses on the top of my head, as I was losing my sight with them inside. „ Even if we lose today, at least they will be talking about us as you step outside looking like an ad for Renault. ” He chuckled making me smile too, although I tried holding back all the energy that wanted to burst out of me at the thought that we’re gonna finally race or at least drive the cars today.

„ I thought we can’t just start the season looking boring. It won’t show in the helmet anyways, but there won’t be a question who I’m racing for during interviews. ” I shrugged a little, making one of the girls on Daniel’s team laugh. „ Maybe next year it’s gonna be Daniel who’s gonna have colorful hair. ” I said, turning to the mentioned one, who didn’t really pay attention to our conversation and looked back at me confused.

When Mark and Michael got to the garage too we got a short run down of the schedule and then could go on our own accord. Before we could go anywhere, I had a small little session with Mark as my neck has been bothering me since the last test runs at home. When I was finally free from his torture, aka him trying to put everything back into it’s place in my sorest spot, I didn’t even look back and just left the garage for the paddock with Daniel. We still had some time before we had to get to some interviews and we both opted for a walk around the paddock after finishing the track walk with some of the crew. We still got back to the interviewing area and sat down with the reporters when they wanted us there.

My first one was smooth going and quite short. Mostly consisting of me talking about my goals for the season and writing down my predictions on a paper that they put into an envelope and closed, so we can open up at the end of the season and see if they all happened or not. While I was waiting for Dan to finish, as my second interview was with the same reporter I sat down close enough to hear their conversation but not close enough to be in the shot. I was just putting on my cap, pulling my ponytail through the hole at the back of it, when I heard a question about me. His answer made me smile as he only said positive things about me and seemed completely genuine about it. 

„ I also know that little miss Sunny here is waiting anxiously to take my place and tell you all about my secrets. ” He turned back around to look at me for a second and I knew he was grinning behind his mask.

„ Oh, are you already on that level? ” The man asked him as a last finishing question, while I stood up so we can change when Dan gets up.

„ With her? From day one or even zero. ” He shrugged, making both me and the reporter laugh. After the cameras were turned off they let Daniel get up and after a quick setup check I could sit down, with a mic in my hand, as we had to sit far away from each other.

The first few questions were the usual rookie questions so the fans could get to know us and our stories a little better. They were still interesting and not fully the same to all the other interview questions we usually get. It seemed that he looked me up a little before coming here today and was prepared about my history and previous answers. It was refreshing to know that they were actually interested in you not only going the minimum way to get ready for their work days.

„ As a last little thing… I was lucky enough to have a chat with your dad after your win in Abu Dhabi, last year. When I asked him how he felt about you going back there and several other locations as an F1 driver this year, he said even though he’s scared for you taking a big step, if there is a girl who can do it it’s gonna be you. Is it a goal in your head to show girls, that you can do this too? ” He asked, making me smile at the thought of my dad.

„ In a way, yes. I’m in a fortunate position to be able to do something that not many girls or women got to do in their life. I hope I can be someone who they will look up to and who can get them to really think about this as a career. ” I nodded with a sigh. „ And of course, also show parents that they should really support their kids' choices with sports and interests. Even if they think there is no possibility for them succeeding in it. I’m here now, because I had that system behind me, pushing me to be my best so I can be successful. ” I added as I was always an advocate about parents standing next to their children in choices like this.

„ Are you close with your family? ” He asked with a smile, making me return it a little sourly.

„ Yes, they usually came with me to my races until this year. So I haven’t really seen them since January. It hasn’t been easy. ” I closed my eyes for a second to compose myself.That was a change I really wasn’t looking forward to when they had to move back to Wales this year to help out my grandparents.

„ But you do have friends here who help, don’t you? Both old and new. ” He continued and I knew what kind of an answer he wanted from me. „ We were lucky enough to get to know your and Lando’s friendship a little better, during lockdown. ” He added, making me remember the part of March and April I spent with him and Robert.

„ Yes, luckily. I also lived with Lando for a little bit as my block got flooded. ” I sighed at the memories, as they weren’t something I wanted to look back at now. „ But I also wanted to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people. It would be really strange to work with them almost every week without actually knowing them. ” I added, trying to divert the attention from the topic.

I listened to his goodbye towards the viewers and after a little wave I was free to stand up and go to do my thing. As I still had time until I was needed at the garage I opted for a coffee and some relaxation a bit more far away from all the crowd in the paddocks. As I sat down on the grass and finally had a moment to think, I ended up on my phone at the end of my gallery looking at old photos. They were from older karting and F3 or F2 championships, mostly showing me on podiums or Lando and me standing together with my brother next to us. Our families always thought we would end up together really early, looking at how much time we spent together, but I guess we were just too immature for that until like our last year together F2.

We were probably closer than ever before when he got a seat at McLaren, and we just lost each other. He always had an advantage over me by being male and also a year older. He started a year earlier than I did, and it showed as I was nowhere near a podium when he, George and Alex took it home with themselves. I hoped that the whole season that we will get one more year when I can finally be a challenge for them, but it ended with them getting offers and stepping up to the top of Formula racing. I was of course happy for them, but I was still disappointed that I couldn’t show what I was capable of against them. They were the three who everyone looked up at, and it was strange to see that from a backseat while actually being best friends with Lando and meeting him every day off track.

I always thought this career would give me everything I needed and wanted from life. I could show them that we had a place in a sport that was such a men’s world and achieve everything I have dreamed about since I learned to drive. I was living my most insane dreams already by just getting a seat into a F1 car, and I didn’t even get to drive it yet. But at the same time this is what took away so much from me. I lost friends who didn’t believe in me, lost time that I spent training and getting better, and I also lost Lando in a way as soon as I saw how hard it would be to convince fans and spectators of me being worthy of this chance, if they always saw me around him. Even if we had any chance together, if he wanted anything to do with me on another level because I knew I for sure wouldn’t have refused him, I had to put it behind us, because it would have interfered with my progress and the way I was judged by everyone. Looking at photos or just seeing him always brought up the same feelings I had back when it didn’t matter who you were, which didn’t help in a championship that was a lot more about the person under the helmet. That’s probably why I tried to get myself away from him so much nowadays. It was easier to don’t even think about it, then act against my feelings.

When I looked at the clock on my screen I realised it was time to get ready. Standing up I slid my phone into my back pocket and went back to the paddocks, luckily not getting lost in the process. My first destination was my room so I could change into my base layer and suit, before going to Aaron who was next to my car, looking at the screens. I gave a quick pat to my car, before focusing on what my engineer was saying. These were just last minute tips just as a minute later we were already getting ready. Stepping next to the table that had my helmet on it I took my rings and bracelet off, thanking Mark when he took them back to the room so I could get my gloves, balaclava and helmet on in the meantime. In a swift motion I got into the car, pushing myself in by the halo and taking my steering wheel from one of the mechanics, to put it in its place.

From the moment they let us drive onto the track until we were called back in after FP2 I felt more at home then I did for the last two months. It wasn’t perfect and we had to change quite some things but I still felt great that I could finally drive on a track as a F1 contestant and that my run wasn’t horrible compared to others. That night I slept like a baby, completely exhausted from everything we did. It was probably a good thing as the next time we could sleep was the night before race day and I was a little too excited to fall asleep early. I’m lucky we can sleep in a little and only have to get to the track for lunchtime. We had pre-race interviews and a last session with our trainers to do, before we got to the last hour.

Changing into the race gear felt different than the previous two days, even though qualifying already felt like a battle. I had a faint idea about what it’ll be like today, after experiencing quali and feeling how everyone else was driving. You would think after watching them race for years you would know everyone’s style. But when you’re seeing them from another car on the track it’s a lot more intense and not as easy to predict their next move as it is while watching from home through a tv. I thought it would be sensible in the air, that the race is getting closer and closer, but with Daniel in the same garage it was lighthearted, with us putting on our helmets before one last fist bump and him hitting my helmet, that was followed by him running away from me so my punch couldn’t reach him, as I had to get into my car.

Starting from almost the back wasn’t that bad of a thing, as it was more likely that I’ll finnish in a better position than that I will fall back and finish last for example. In a way it did work out, but the race itself was quite chaotic with several safety cars and engine fault, leaving for example Dan stranded on the side of the track. That’s mostly how I ended up in P8 in the end, although I didn’t really feel proud. It felt more like luck was on my side that I could stay in, than me being so skilled that I overtook everyone on the grid to get myself there. Everyone who finished after me actually started there too, except Vettel who had a small crash because of Sainz and fell back. So it wasn’t really my driving that got me there.

It still felt good to bring home some points for the team with Dan not finishing the race, and I felt like everyone back at the garage was happy with my performance as they welcomed me happily, when I finally got out and got to them. Daniel was the last one who I stepped up to, hugging him still with my helmet on my head. He was laughing about something but dismissed it when I took off the helmet and looked at him with a questioning look. On our way back I congratulated everyone who we ran into and also thanked my team for this first race when we finally arrived. I still had to do some interviews, again, but luckily I was in a better mood compared to this morning, making the reporters life easier, meaning they didn’t have to try and get me to talk as I gladly answered anything they asked.

„ Hey, Winnie. ” I heard as soon as I finished at my last stop and I immediately knew who it was by the used nickname. Only a couple of people knew and used it, which were my family and Lando. „ Congrats! ” He came up to me and even though I knew he would have hugged me, knowing there were cameras around us I only offered a fistbump in his way.

„ You too. How does a podium in the first race feel? ” I asked him with a smile, even though I wanted to cut this conversation as short as I could. I really didn’t need his fans being nasty on my page if they see us talking and being next to each other.

„ Fantastic. Never thought that they would finally come. ” He answered, beaming although I saw confusion appear on his face for a second. „ Hopefully this won’t be the last. ” He added, making me nod at him in agreement. I did hope he will do better just as much as I hoped I will bring something for my team and won’t disappoint them.

„ We all knew it was closer and closer by every day. ” I let out a laugh stopping when we got to our garage entrance. „ Well, I’ll see you later? ” I tried not to seem too eager to finally get inside, out of the sight of the cameras. He quickly nodded and after saying goodbye left for his own garage as I started my way inside.

„ If I knew it would bring so much luck I would have gotten one for myself too. ” I heard Dan laughing and when they came into my view I saw as he was holding my helmet in his hands.

„ What are you talking about? ” I asked him with a curious smile, probably startling both him and Aaron as they flinched back for a second before showing me my own equipment but I immediately spotted something on the matte black surface that shouldn’t have been there. When I realised it was a small little sunflower sticker I remembered him hitting me on the helmet and realised that was probably the moment when he put it there. „ I didn’t even realise that’s what you were doing. ” I let out a laugh taking it from them so I can take a photo of it, wanting to remember all these silly moments.

„ The fans loved it, they’re all reposting and retweeting photos where it’s visible. „ Aaron added with a chuckle showing me just one that was taken during the race and my head was in a position that it was fully visible to anyone.

„ I will be stuck with this, won’t I? They were already talking about you calling me Sunny during like every second interview. ” I shook my head but I of course wasn’t mad at him or anything. It was just funny to be the main character in a situation like this. I have seen so many in the last few years, watching how fans were following different driver friendships online and trying to spot everything they did together. I just hoped they would like me and Daniel together and it won’t turn into something like it did with Lando. I did not want to ignore one more person in front of cameras, just so I could get some pressure off of myself. One person like that in my life was enough.


	5. Chapter Five

After the first three races my emotions were all around the place. Claiming some points for the time in my first race felt phenomenal even if it was just the first step of the season. I thought it would mean that luck is on our side a little bit, and maybe I was worried for nothing in the end. Then came the second race where I didn’t even get to finish the race, thanks to a mechanical issue. I knew it was most likely not something I caused, but at the same time I felt like I just wanted too much from the car and messed up the limits of what we can ask from it. We knew it had problems and sensitive areas and were warned not to push it that weekend, before they could fix them for the next race. The plan was completing the race so we could at least keep the car in one piece, but I couldn’t even deliver that for the team. I felt like a complete disaster, and even after completing the Hungarian GP I didn’t feel the same as before the start of the season. I didn’t feel like there was a place here for me, and the interviewers made sure that I knew they agreed with me on that.

„ Why are you still here? ” Dan startled me as I heard his voice coming from right next to me. I flinched in my seat, whipping my head in his way to look at him. A sigh left my body at registering his face in my mind, so I could be sure it was not someone else.

„ I wanted to help with the packing. ” I nodded towards the big containers that were already full and closed, waiting for the transporting truck that will take them to the next race. It was always funny to me how quick it was to pack up a whole garage and take it to another country. It was strange but fascinating at the same time.

„ I know that. But they have been ready for the past hour and half at least. ” He sat down next to me, resting his arms on the railing I was leaning on too. „ Who are you hiding from? ” He bumped our shoulders together, making me smile before it vanished again. For a second I thought about lying, but I realised he would know it before I even got a word out.

„ Myself, Cyryl, the fans. ” I shrugged a little, naming just the few who I didn’t really want to be next to in this exact moment. I could have probably added a few more to the list, but it was already enough. He got what I meant, it was visible in the smile he gave me.

„ If that helps, Cyryl was over the moon that you completed a race. As for the fans, they seemed happy tweeting about it too. That’s two ticked off your list. ” He sounded like he just solved life’s biggest question and created world peace.

„ That isn’t really something we should celebrate though. You mostly wanna at least get points. Which I failed to do so. Again. ” I sighed, leaning my head on my arms that were crossed on the metal railing.

„ If everyone would be winning points, who would be the last one? ” He chuckled, making me roll my eyes. „ Hey… you did good. It’s just the start. You can still achieve so much, you still have the time to do so. ” He added, clapping me on my back, although I knew it wasn’t with the power he would use for all the other guys. It made me smile and hate him at the same time.

„ I hope so. But you’re right, there is time still. ” I let out a sigh, looking once again at my watch and deciding I should probably get back to the hotel. „ It’s just all confusing. Going from such a high to the lowest possible. It’s just running around in my mind that maybe I was just lucky in Austria, and it will never happen again. ” I shook my head, lifting my head but I just rather looked at the empty garage than him.

„ That’s the racing world. It will always be like that. ” He shrugged, making me look at him when he poked my side with his elbow. „ I heard you like bets… What about we make one too? ” He asked, confusion getting onto my face, although I didn’t hate his idea. I was just curious what the bet would be about. I waited for him to continue and he delivered. „ If you get a podium during this season, you will have to get a tattoo. You can decide the place and design, but you’re getting one. On the other hand, if I’m wrong you can choose one for me. ” He described the rules, making me actually curious.

„ Shake on it? ” I asked just half a second later, not even really thinking it through. He shook my hand with his usual grin, which made me laugh a little. He got me excited again, even though I thought I lost the positive side of me for racing. „ Is your flight tomorrow? ” I asked him curiously as we stood up and he led us towards the parking lot. We usually went on the same flight if it was immediately to the next race’s country.

„ Yeah. Early morning, sadly. Are you gonna fly home or straight to the UK? ” He asked back, letting me catch up to him when he was getting well in front of me. I wasn’t small, but compared to them my height was quite funny, which meant my legs were a lot shorter too. If I got points for every time they almost left me behind, I would be leading the championship for sure.

„ No, just the UK. We have some filming planned for a rookie challenge. Although, I still don’t know more than that we’re gonna be karting. ” I answered, my mood getting a bit better when I mentioned our plans. It was something I was really looking forward to, even though I was a little scared about what they will make us do for this year. „ I just hope it will be nothing more than what last year’s rookies had to do. That I can do perfectly. ” I chuckled, fixing my bag on my back, so it wouldn’t be pulling on just one of my shoulders.

„ Those things are always fun. Helps the fans to get to know you guys. ” He gave me a genuine grin, letting me exit the pitlane first. „ It’s never been about embarrassing you or making them hate you guys. I swear on my life that you will enjoy it. ” He promised me, which somehow did help calm down a part of my brain which was still running on the fears I had about the challenge.

„ Don’t do that. I like you too much to lose you to me being embarrassed by something that others would enjoy. I’m not that easy going. ” I shook my head, finally letting out a laugh. He probably had this effect on everyone, even though most people thought he was just a simple joker among the drivers. He did a lot more than just laugh at everything, that they didn’t see, because it was always in private.

Somehow I actually had one of my life’s best sleeps that night, somehow going from being worried to actually looking forward to the planned activity. I was up early still, packing everything up so I wouldn’t have to do it later and didn’t have to rush it. I still had enough time to go for a run in the park around our hotel, even though I usually skipped running for post race days. I felt like my mind needed it, and it did feel refreshing after I had a shower and got ready for the day. I was a half an hour ahead of the schedule when I took a taxi to the airport, as I rather waited there until we could get on the private plane, than in the hotel room.

Getting there was easy, thanks to the minimum traffic on the roads and stepping inside the waiting room I could recognize George sitting at one of the tables. For a moment I was confused, not understanding why he was here but I still went up to him. I wasn’t going to be the one to reject some company, while waiting for the others. He greeted me happily as soon as I took the seat across him, pulling my luggage next to me, so it won’t be in the way for anyone. I was just about to ask why was he flying with us, when my phone started ringing and I spent the next almost twenty minutes talking to my mum, who wanted to know all the details about our flight to the UK. She always called me before the flights and demanded a text from me as soon as we landed just so she knew we’re okay and nothing happened. Do I have to mention she was petrified of flying and planes? I was relieved when she was needed by my dad and we had to put down the call finally, making me sigh out as I tapped the red button.

„ Guess she’s not a fan of you flying everywhere? ” George asked, sipping on his coffee after his question. I nodded as an answer, putting my phone back into my pocket as I didn’t plan on receiving any calls.

„ Not like I have been doing it for the last few years anyways. ” I rolled my eyes a little, even if I loved her. „ Are you flying with us to the UK? ” I voiced my question, leaning back in my seat to get into a comfortable position. I thought it would be just Nicky and I as we were the only rookies this year.

„ Yeah. Lando and Alex are on their way too, and Esteban is already there. ” He answered me, but I just got more confused by his words. „ They asked us to take part in the challenge. Thought they would make it more exciting with including last year’s rookies and someone who didn’t race last season too. ” I finally understood what was happening, although it was strange that they didn’t tell us yet. It made it exciting but at the same time confusing, as we didn’t even know what our task would be during the filming, other than driving the karts.

„ That’s a surprise. ” My eyes widened for a second, before I quickly thanked the waiter for the coffee he put down in front of me. „ But the good kind, a good kind of surprise. ” I quickly added, before he would take it in the wrong way. I didn’t want him to think I hated spending time with them outside of the usual race weekends. They wouldn’t have to ask me twice to spend some time with them, but at the same time I didn’t want to be too clingy on anyone.

“ Yeah, we didn’t know about it until like a week ago either. They probably changed plans just before contacting us. It’s gonna be fun anyways. ” He shrugged a little, still smiling as I returned it. I hoped that he’s telling the truth and I will be able to enjoy it even though I knew my mind would be focused on staying away from Lando.

From the outside or Lando’s perspective our friendship probably didn’t look as relaxed as it was before and during the original start of the season. A lot has changed since then, mostly on the fans’ side as there were more who hoped I will be dropped by my team next season and someone can take it who will get more out of the possibilities. They made sure I heard their opinion and knew where they were standing, almost every day but at least every time I dared to post something on my accounts. It didn’t really matter what the post was about, it was always the same, them dissecting me and my driving skills until they came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t have been given the seat by Renault. It never helped that they always stirred in a sprinkle of mine and Lando’s friendship, turning the situation upside down and coming up with that being the only reason behind me getting a chance in F1. It felt as quite a strange idea, as we weren’t even in the same team. Shouldn’t I get Dan or Cyril into my web if I want to secure my seat at my current team?

Luckily the other guys arrived just minutes before we had to get onto the plane and we didn’t really have time for anything else then a quick greeting hug. The plane was quite big enough for the 5 of us and the few camera crew people that traveled with us. I took a seat across Alex and was relieved when George was quicker than Lando and took the seat next to me. Both Lando and Nicky took the seats on the other half of the plane. They were still close to us, but I was happy that I didn’t have to always make sure I wasn’t in the pictures or videos they took of him. I had to be in the group photo the filming crew took of us, but it wasn’t the same and the fans could see I wasn’t attached to him or clinging to him on normal days either. The quicker I would break their thoughts about how attached I am to him, the sooner we could get back to acting normal around each other. A flight where we were locked in together was the perfect occasion to show them I really don’t care about spending time with him. Not even when our activities were limited.

While they were showing each other stupid videos I just put on my headset to listen to some music. Knowing we will have to start filming early after landing, I wanted to get some sleep before going through half a day of karting. Even if it was just mostly a fun challenge so we could forget about the serious season for a bit, I didn’t want it to be a struggle because of sleep deprivation. We had some time on our hands and I knew we would catch up either during or after the filming, leaving sleeping the only other activity I could choose from. Sliding down a little in my seat I let my head lean back and hoped sleep would catch up with me quickly. Times went by a lot quicker if you were asleep and even though I didn’t have a problem with flights, they were a lot more enjoyable if you just skipped all of it. Luckily for once my body was on my side and the next time I opened my eyes, we were already landing. The wheels touched down without any problems, and we were allowed to get our things together and leave the plane in just a few minutes.

“ Straight to the karting track? ” Nicky asked, getting into one of the cars that they sent out for us. I got in after him, thinking George would follow us but seems like my luck had run out as it was Lando who sat down next to me.

“ Yes. They said we will have one or two changing rooms. Depending on if Winnie is okay with sharing or not. ” Lando answered him while I didn’t even realize that he was talking about me. I just wanted to finally get to our destination and get out of the car. “ Hey, you okay? ” He bumped my shoulder with his, making my head lift up and eyes land on him.

“ Yeah. Just tired. That’s all. ” I shrugged a little, not letting my gaze linger on his face, for longer than necessary. “ It will be interesting to race with karts again. We did a bit of it during the off-season, but feels like a lifetime ago when we actually had everyone together. ” I added, trying to get the attention off myself and how I’m feeling, before something would slip out.

“ I will enjoy the same engines. ” Nicholas let out a sigh next to me, and I couldn’t help a chuckle leaving my body. They weren’t the most competitive team from the grid, even though both him and George were great drivers. They just needed a better car to have a chance.

Just as Lando told us, they were waiting for our cars to pull up, escorting us into the building immediately. In the end I got a separate changing room and I couldn’t really complain, and just enjoyed the bit of privacy it gave me while getting ready. We had a bit of free time before the filming started, giving me a bit of time to call my family and inform them that we got to the UK fine and were about to get on with the day. It was always hard to put a call with them down, which explains why I was still holding the device to my ear with my shoulder as I left the little room. It was easy to spot the team standing around, waiting for the crew to set up the cameras before we would get on with the introduction and the actual karting. I was about to put down the call when Lando stepped up next to me, handing me a cup of steaming coffee.

“ I have to go, we’re starting in just a few minutes. ” I let out a sigh, taking the cup from Lando after putting down my gloves to get at least one of my hands empty. Just a few seconds later my phone was already back in my suit’s pocket, and I could finally take a sip from the drink. “ Thank you. ” I looked up at Lando with a little smile, seeing him nod before turning towards George who was trying to get his attention.

For a second a strange feeling took over my body for acting so cold towards him, while he was still looking out for me and helping where he could. Just a few months prior to today he was the one at fault, but in that time we reserved roles and now I was the one pushing us farther away from each other. Deep inside I knew it could have been dealt with differently, but at the same time I felt like this was the only way to keep the fans out of the picture. It wasn’t a decision that made me happy, but rather just kept even more stress away from me. It was never going to be my favourite decision to make, but one that was needed and inevitable if we didn’t want to put my sanity on the line.

I didn’t get to ponder on the situation longer than a second or two as they finished with the set up and the next step was to get us together for the introduction. They got Nicky and myself to stand the closest to the interviewers as the others got to decide their own positions. I felt tiny in between the two Williams’ guys, but didn’t have time to really complain as the camera started rolling in the same second as George took his place on my left side, completing the lineup. We of course started with a few questions about the first races and our plans, before we could get to the rules of today’s challenge. It was just everyday karting, although they wanted us each to team up with an ex-rookie. I was about to get worried that they might be doing the pairing, when they revealed that we can choose.

“ So, I think ladies first instead of rock-paper-scissors? ” One of the presentators asked, turning towards Nicky who just nodded, approving of the order of choosing he proposed. “ Then, Winola, please choose your team mate. ” He turned to me, making me look at the three who were waiting for my answer. Esteban was considered a rookie with us, skipping a year without racing in F1 and coming back for this season.

“ George. ” I answered after debating if it should be Alex or him. Lando wasn’t a choice I was ready to take and the comments it would bring. They were both a safer bet, as everyone knew they were in relationships.

“ Yes, boys! ” He sounded like he just won a Grand Prix, making me laugh immediately although I didn’t miss the defeated look on Lando’s face. I didn’t linger on it too much though, accepting the high-five from George while it was Nicky’s turn to choose Alex, leaving Esteban with the last remaining person.

“ Perfect. One last rule. There’s gonna be four people on track at the same time, fighting for the points, as every pair will get to race the other two. The remaining two people will have a chance to distract the ones driving. ” One of the presenters made us stop, as we all got curious what that actually meant. “ Thanks to the fantastic weather, a bit of cooling water balloons will not hurt anyone. ” He raised an eyebrow making most of us laugh, although at the same time I knew this won’t end well for anyone. Neither of us could be trusted with a weapon like water balloons.

As I was the first one to choose my team mate, we got put on the end of the order of the races. Luckily it wasn’t any less exciting then driving the karts as every lap we got to attack them and almost all the time successfully distract them. For a second I felt bad when we even caused Nicholas to spin out, but in the end it was all fun and games, and they got their own chance when we were sitting behind the wheels. They were probably even better as my aim was off by miles on half of my throws, while I saw only a few splattering on the concrete in front of or next to me. My suit was already soaking wet in several spots when I got up off the kart, taking my helmet off at the same time, but somehow they thought it wasn’t enough. I was just about to ask for the overall positions when from the corner of my eye I caught movement but before I could react one of the two buckets of remaining water was dumped on me. A scream got stuck in my throat at the cold shock, while George immediately let out a shout as he received the other bucket’s content over his head.

“ That should tell you enough about who won. ” Lando clapped me on the back while passing me and I would have hit him if my body wasn’t paralised by the water still. He still visibly flinched when I moved a little, fearing I would be able to catch him with a poke to the ribs or something.

“ Thought it would be the loser getting punished. ” I rolled my eyes, taking a step away from the kart so I could put down the helmet from my hand. We were lucky it was summer and warm as even now the water felt chilly through the suit. Couldn’t imagine how it would have felt on a windy autumn day with the usual british weather.

I didn’t get too much time to suffer on my own as we were pulled together for a last little talk, so they could officially announce the victorious team. We even got tiny trophies, the size reducing with the positions as the last placed team got only keychain ones. It got us to laugh once more, as we said goodbye to the camera and were free to leave as soon as everything was checked over once and approved by the crew. I was the first one out of the changing rooms, but waited for the others to get back into their normal clothes too. A part of me hoped that they had a plan for some activities as I didn’t feel like laying around the hotel room until Dan got here and we could get back to training together both with Michael and Mark. Luckily they did not disappoint me, immediately offering that we could meet up at the hotel’s outside bar for a drink or two, before getting back to our usual clean eating and lifestyle. One drink isn’t a big cheat meal anyways.

“ I think I will just take a nap, and do something in the afternoon. I’m knackered. ” Lando declined with a sigh, making me turn towards him immediately. All of us knew him well, and he wasn’t one to miss a chance to relax with friends after a fun activity. “ But have fun. Don’t have a hangover tomorrow. ” He added with a smile, that somehow seemed forced before fistbumping all of us and just leaving the building. For a second I stared after him, but then the others talking made me turn back with a sigh, focusing on relaxing a little with them.


End file.
